no love lost
by Echo Norfleet
Summary: “A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” - Oscar Wilde


Disclaimer: Just borrowing.

no love lost

by Echo Norfleet

He was awoken with a kiss. His eyes were still closed, until, dazedly, he opened them, finding a fuzzy-looking pair of green eyes smiling at him. He blinked, rubbing his eyes, and found Lily's face looking clearer and just as beautiful as it always had been. A smile tugged at his lips, and the corners of his black eyes crinkled as she said, "Happy Birthday, Severus."  
　　

"Thank you," he said around a yawn, which made her laugh.  
　　

"Would you like a lie-in? Merlin knows, you deserve it, after all that rolling round you did with Shelby last night. Does your back still hurt?"  
　　

He nodded, mumbling, as he rubbed his face, "I'm too old. Let's forget this birthday."  
　　

Lily smiled and said, "I'm afraid your daughter will not allow that, Severus. I happen to know she's very excited about today."　

He stifled another yawn, asking, "Can today wait another thirty minutes?"　  
　

"Of course," she said, leaning down to kiss him once more, before climbing out of their bed.

-----

He heard the door creak open, the sound of feet padding slowly across the carpet. He kept his eyes shut, his breathing shallow, as he listened to her sneak up to the bed, struggling to climb in. She hoisted herself up, wiggling as she crawled over to him. He kept the smile off his face, as he heard her giggling, instead keeping silent as she bent over him. They were face-to-face, her round, freckled-nosed one hovering just over his angular, big-nosed one. There was a long moment of silence, as she stared down at him with her mother's eyes, until, suddenly, he pulled her into his arms.  
　　

"Daddy!" she squealed, her voice muffled against his throat.  
　

"Hello, Miss Shelby," he said, squeezing her against his side. He finally allowed himself to smile, as she pulled back to look at him.  
　

"Happy Birthday!" she said, putting a hand on either side of his prickly face. He cupped her round face in his big hands, bringing her head down to his.

"Happy Birthday, to you, too," he told her.  
　

"It's not my..." Her green eyes widened, as she realized his joke and laughed. He smiled and leaned up to kiss her nose.  
　

"Mum says you have to get to the table in two minutes, or else you're dead meat," she said, lowering herself back into his arms, face pressed against his chest.  
　

"Did she really?" he asked, twining a strand of her hair around his index finger.  
　

"Yeah."  
　

"Hmm... well, I suppose I'll get up, then."

-----

"Blow out the candles, Daddy!"  
　

Lily smiled at him, resting her chin on her fist. "I'm not sure you can get them all."  
　

He said, eye brows raised, "Perhaps not, though, I imagine it would be difficult for any human to blow out forty three candles."  
　

Lily smiled, pink painting her cheeks, as she and Shelby watched him. He'd counted all forty three candles they had stuck on top of his birthday cake. Crazy girls... He gestured for his daughter to come over, and she did, obediently.　

"Help an old man blow out his birthday candles, won't you, dearest?"

Shelby grinned and nodded eagerly. "On three." He raised three fingers, and began, feeling Lily's smiling eyes on them, "One... two... four... five..."  
　

"Dad, you missed three!"  
　

"Oh my... very well, let's try again... one... two... two..." Shelby was glaring now, so he pulled her close and kissed her cheek loudly, before saying, "Three."  
　

They blew out all of his candles, except for one, which Lily got for them. Shelby was clapping, as he looked at his wife and said, "Thank you."

Lily smiled and shook her head, as she summoned a knife from the drawer.

-----

"What on Earth is this thing?"

"_Dad, _its a caldron." Shelby gave him an exasperated look, as he shared an amused look with Lily, who was cleaning up the ripped wrapping paper.  
　

"Are you quite sure, Shelby?"  
　

"Yes, Daddy! You _know _what it is!"  
　

He chuckled and pulled his daughter close. "I know, darling," he said, mouth against her hair. "Thank you very much."

"Well... Mum helped."  
　

"But it was Shelby's idea," Lily said, causing their girl to blush.  
　

"Well, thank you both, very much." He leaned over Shelby to kiss Lily.

-----

Lily was putting away the dishes, as he and Shelby carried his caldron down to his laboratory. Shelby supervised, as he levitated the thing down the staircase. He let it hover over his work table, in the middle of the dark room, before canceling the spell and letting it gently drop.  
　

Shelby was watching him, at the bottom of the stairs, nibbling on her lip. He turned to her and tapped her mouth with his index finger, which made her smile guiltly and release her lip, but the look of anxiety didn't leave her face. His brows furrowed, and he asked softly, "What's the matter, Shelby?"  
　

"Do you really like the caldron, Daddy?"  
　

"Of course I do," he said, watching her frown.  
　

"Really? I thought you might not like it very much."  
　

He sighed and walked closer to her. "I love it, Shelby. It was very sweet of you."  
　

"Are you sure?"

His big hand clasped her thin shoulder, and he brought her to his chest, holding her tight. "Yes, darling. It's wonderful. I can't wait to use it." The tension left Shelby's body, and she wrapped her short arms around his middle.  
　

"Okay."  
　

He stroked her hair, as he said, "Will you help me brew a potion later?"  
　

Shelby nodded into his chest. "Yeah."  
　

Warmth blossomed in his chest, and he bent down to kiss her hair.

-----

Severus awoke to find the space beside him empty, and all he could do was lay there and watch the dust particles dance in the morning sunlight. His head felt heavy on his pillow, his arm like lead across the pillow he held to his chest. His black eyes were glued to the place which should be occupied beside him, but, as he stared, all he could see was the messy dresser across the room and the peeled wallpaper hanging next to it.  
　

The house seemed unusually still. The others should be up, moving about, at the sink, yawning, but then he remembered, and he drudgingly accepted his life for what it really was. Silence was like thunder in his ears.  
　

He didn't bother stifling his yawn. Why, when there was no one there to notice? No wife to admonish him, no daughter to giggle. He brought his hand to his face, drowsily rubbing his tired, wet eyes as he shut his mouth, and found himself slipping back into sleep, where he could always have what he never really did and never would.

* * *

A/N: I apologize for the varied spacing between sentences. Formatting this has been a real pain in the you-know-where. Any tips would be greatly appreciated.


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